Sometimes I wish you guys could be with me to see the stuff I see. For instance, last night I played The Illinois River Jam in Tahlequah Oklahoma. A sweet little festival put on by my friend Travis Linville. So much fun hanging with all the musicians and we slept in bunks in a cabin by the river. What a life. We played music by a bonfire till 4am. Song after song after song. Lots of laughter and stories.
Now I’m headed to see my pal Greg Johnson at The Blue Door in Oklahoma City. I play tonight at 8pm. If you’ve never experienced The Blue Door then one day make the trek. You’ll dig it. The amazing Gordie Tentrees opens.
The Blue Door!
So the Loudon Wainwright III show went really well. Would t have changed a thing. He was real nice to me after the show and very complimentary. He watched the whole thing.
Very cool! I wanted to take a pic with him but I was too shy to ask. I rarely get like that but this man really inspired me when I was younger and gave me the courage to pursue this life I now live.
So now I’m off to the next leg of my journey. It seems the shows never end. I’m going to Oklahoma.
Sept 19 Peyton’s Place Tahlequah Oklahoma – Illinois River Jam
Sept 20 Oklahoma City – The Blue Door
Sept 21 Eureka Springs Arkansas Eureka House Concerts at Unitarian Church 6pm!
Sept 22- Fayetteville Ark – Greenhouse Grille -6pm!
Sept 24 – Ames Iowa – Maintenance Shop Iowa State University
Sept 25 – Madison Wisconsin – The Frequency
Sept 26 Chicago Illinois – Schuba’s
Sept 27 Indianapolis Indiana -Sabbatical
Sept 29 – Cedar Rapids Iowa
Oct 1 Ann Arbor Michigan- The Ark
Oct 3 Fairmount Illinois- Sleepy Creek Vineyards
Oct 4 Boyne City Michigan – Freshwater Studio
Oct 7 Pittsburgh Pennsylvania – Club Cafe
Oct 9 Fairfield Connecticut – Stage One
Oct 10 San Diego California – San Diego Public Library 1 year celebration under the dome
Oct 12 – Cambridge Massachusetts – Club Passim
Oct 15 Asbury Park New Jersey – The Saint
Oct 16- New York City – Pianos
Oct 17 -Easton Maryland- Stoltz Listening Room at the Avalon Theater
Oct 18 Ardmore Pennsylvania – Ardmore Music Hall
Oct – 19- Jersey House Concert-
Oct 21 Vienna Virginia -Jammin Java
Oct 22 – Wilmington Delaware- World Cafe Live at the Queen – Upstairs
Oct 23 Charlottesville Virginia-
Southern Cafe and Music Hall
Oct 24 Ashland Virginia – Ashland Coffee and Tea
Oct 25- Charlotte North Carolina – Neighborhood Theater – Side Room
Oct 26- Chapel Hill North Carolina – Local 506
Oct 28- Decatur Georgia- Eddie’s Attic
Oct 29 Nashville Tennessee – 3rd and Lindsley
Nov 1 Saint Augustine Florida – Cafe 11
Nov 2 Saint Petersburg Florida – The Hideaway Cafe
Nov 7 Palm Springs California -Palm Springs Art Museum
Nov 12 Arcata Ca – Arcata Playhouse with my friend Ellis Paul
Nov 13- Sacramento Ca – Harlow’s with my friend Ellis Paul
Nov 14 Berkeley California- Freight and Salvage with my friend Ellis Paul
Nov 16 – Moss Beach Ca – Mezza Luna Restaurant with my friend Tim Flannery
Friday Sept 26th I’m playing Chicago! Very excited to return to Schuba’s. Please tell any of your Chicago peeps. I appreciate the help. Tickets
Dallas Texas this evening is where my rental car will reside. The Kessler Theater. It doesn’t really seem as if this tour is ever going to end. That’s ok because this is the business I’ve chosen.
Drive, sing, play guitar, talk a lot, repeat.
Tonight with Loudon Wainwright III. I love that man. I saw him years ago in the late eighties with a girl named Anastasia Davies Hinchsliff. When I watched him on stage I said to myself “that’s what I want to do for a living. Travel around and yammer on stage and sing my own songs. That looks like a great job.”
Years later I toured the country with his son Rufus and he used to call up his Dad and say “Dad, I met your illegitimate son. His name is Steve Poltz.” Rufus is hilarious.
Anyways I’m excited for tonight. I love Loudon’s music. He’s master at his craft. Gotta giddy up to Dallas.
Stupid autocorrect. I was texting my friend Michael Addis.
I am the chicken man. I walk the streets cluck cluckity clucking. I’m free range baby. I hang out with lizards on hot porches and listen to crazy people play the spoons. I lick fresh lemonade off of the concrete when the spoon session gets heated and some fool knocks over a jar. I walk the streets of this town dragging my guitar over speed bumps and singing spirituals and songs from musicals. I can kind of fly but not very far. I don’t need to fly because I like walking the gutters. I’m clucking to San Antonio Texas tonight to play Sam’s Burger Joint. I don’t need a badge. I got a song to sing. I am the chicken man dammit. I got all my shots. I can sleep on the stage. I’ll sell you one of my feathers for merch. I can see the future and I know your history. I’m like Santa. I’m everywhere. If you pull a blade on me I’ll claw your face. I can fix your Ford Falcon. I wrote the script to Annie Hall and gave it to Woody Allen. I was a journalist in Germany during WW1. I ended prohibition. I once won a medal for good sportsmanship. I have a birthmark on my back in the shape of Cuba. I saved a family of 8 from a bridge that collapsed. I picketed outside KFC. I know all of the words to every song by Townes Van Zandt. I am the chicken man! I am the chicken man. I chop onions and never cry. I cried during Old Yeller. I know how to make flour tortillas. I like waffles.
Sam’s Burger Joint
Four eyes are better than two only half of the time. I just finished a study at Harvard University where I did comparisons with people I’ve been surgically working on in my spare time, in between writing songs and editing automobile manuals.
I steal eyes from dead people and restore them under a grow lamp.
I don’t let the people out of my lab but I do bring them Starbucks Frappucinos®. It’s not like they’re unhappy in my laboratory it’s just that they’re not really that happy. Hey, it’s all good!
One time when I was about 6, it was 1966 and I was jumping rope with the neighbor kids and they were singing songs and the jump rope broke and then I threw up.
So even though I had vomit all over me I took out my iPhone and googled jump rope repair and a nice man drove over and fixed the jump rope and I paid for it with my iWatch because the nice man had a bluetooth device in his square card reader and it was able to scan my iWatch. So we filmed a Kickstarter video for financial help in buying a Corvair to drive us to jump rope tournaments.
Then we sang- Cinderella, dressed in yellow
Went upstairs to kiss her fellow
Made a mistake
And kissed a snake
How many doctors
Did it take?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. . . .
Then some neighbor boys beat me up and my nose bled so we filmed it and put it up on YouTube and started an anti bullying campaign. Then we used Uber to get a ride to the ice cream store and the man behind the counter felt sorry for me and gave me a free scoop of rocky road. Then we watched The news on the ice cream man’s Apple TV and Walter Cronkite told us about a place called Vietnam and showed a clip of a man called LBJ watching kids jump rope.
Then I said “this is good weed man”.
I met this horse two days ago in San Diego. He was nice. I don’t know his name so let’s just call him Horace Heebernathy. I got him to pose for me by telling him I knew where there was a stash of carrots. He posed and I delivered. He gave me his email address. email@example.com
I’m headed to Houston for a show tonight at The Mucky Duck.
There’s a Texas invasion taking place by yours truly. I’m fixing to walk there tonight for my show in Houston tomorrow night Sept 16th at The Mucky Duck. I am a fast walker. Like really fast.
The Mucky Duck beckons.
Then on Wednesday night Sept 17th I’m going to swim to San Antonio Texas to play at Sam’s Burger Joint. I’ve never played there before but I hear tell it’s pretty close Austin so hopefully some folks make the trek.
After that, on Friday Sept 18th I’m going to jog to Dallas to play the Kessler Theater with Loudon Wainwright.
This concludes this portion of the broadcast.
All tour dates are listed here with ticket links and winning lotto numbers and pizza.
Take ‘er easy compadres,