Too bad this jacket is 1798 dollars. I saw it and was immediately gonna buy it and then I went “whoa! Is this a typo? This thing is cool. It reminds me of Dylan.” Then I realized it was modeled after a Dylan record. Maybe Freewheelin? I’m too wacked outta my head on oxy and ice to look it up.

Then I said to myself “you could always charge it.” Then I said to myself “for 1798 bucks you could buy a car. A shitty car but hey. A car.” Then I thought “well at least it won’t break down on the freeway. And it’ll keep me warm.”

So then I went as far as clicking size medium and it ended up in my cart. Then I demurred. I walked away. I laughed at myself for even thinking of buying it. Then I said to myself “it’s more expensive than the new iPhone.” But this jacket can’t send texts.

Now I’m back at sanity level and I’m here to report that I did not. I repeat, i DID NOT buy this jacket.

It was an idea I was lured into almost fulfilling. I was like a trout in a river in Montana and some fly fisher threw this jacket in the water. I almost bit. Had I bit I would’ve ended up in a frying pan being eaten by a hungry fisher person. Sautéed in butter and garlic.