There’s a sidewalk in my mind that has the prettiest little daisies growing through the cracks. And all the bees are buzzing and there’s honey being manufactured underground.

I love honey. But not too much. I sideways love honey.

Here are my reasons-

1. Honey helps me out with my allergies. Local honey is a gift from Hashem. It helps my peepers stay clear so I can look at the parking lot with new eyes.

2. I love the way Bobby Goldsboro’s voice sounds on this 1968 gem of a song. Honey. So damn good. Went to number 1!

3. Honey starts with the letter h. H is the 8th letter in the ALPHAbet. ALPHA is the 1st letter of the Greek Alphabet and I once heard Joni Mitchell sing about meeting a redneck on a Grecian isle. Therefore Greek people like to bet their Alpha. Plus if you misspell alpha it comes out Alapha. (I don’t know what any of this means but I like the way it all sounds together.)

4. When I was a kid I owned Hot Wheels and baseball cards. One time I spilled honey on my Bert Blyleven Minnesota Twins baseball card and it stuck to my favorite 1971 Hot Wheel Evil Weevil VW desert bug. They both caught on fire when I was playing with matches in the garage. I was able to kind of save them but the car is melted and Bert’s card is charcoal. Plus, I got grounded for playing with matches.

5. My mind just shut down.