Last night it was -2 degrees fahrenheit. That’s pretty balmy. Nice weather for thawing out frozen blueberries. Gardening weather. Tanning and bbq weather.
I stepped on a tube with wings and flew way high in the sky to the north and to the east. Now here I am in Halifax Nova Scotia Canada.
This is the by far the dumbest little 3 gig tour I’ve ever done and I’ve done some dumb ones.
Some of you may say “Steve, why are you flying so far just to do 3 shows when you have to be in Australia next week? Isn’t Australia closer to San Diego where you live?”
These are great questions.
Here’s what happened-
A few months back you may recall that I got booked to do a whole tour with Mike And The Mechanics. It was meant to be over 30 shows across the USA and a couple in Canada.
Well, I was all set to do the tour and then at the same time, I found out I got Port Fairy Folk Festival AND Blue Mountain Festival in Australia. The problem is that they overlapped. I’ve wanted to play those 2 festivals for years but never got accepted. I was passed over. I didn’t make the team. So finally after trying again and again it happened.
So, I had to make a decision. Do I go out and do a national tour opening for Mike and The Mechanics or do I go to Australia for my 14th time? Things are really starting to go good for me there.
If I did the Mechanics tour I’d get to meet Mike Rutherford who was in Genesis. I’d hang out with some fun Brits and bond and have fun. The kind of stuff that happens when you go on an extended tour with people. You sort of become family. That would’ve been a blast.
But, I always wanted to play those two festivals.
So- my agent Adam says to me “I’m really sad that you’ve decided you’re not doing the Mechanics tour. All I needed was a miracle and I got it.” Heh heh. I love Adam.
“Can you at least do the beginning of the tour? Like 6 shows?”
I said “of course!”
So then here we are months later and we realize that due to the fact that you lose a day when traveling to Australia I can only do about 3 of the dates.
Then my friend Mike Campbell who owns The Carleton in Halifax says to my agent “since Steve is going to be in DC can you have him shoot on up to Halifax to play a show. We miss him and we’ll pay him some cold hard cash I have buried under the snow.”
I thought to myself “well, I love Halifax. It’s my birthplace. I can see some relatives and it’s not THAT far from DC. (It actually is pretty far) but I love Mike Campbell and my shows at The Carleton are always special. That place is magic.
So then my agent Adam tells me that one of The Mike and The Mechanics gigs is cancelled. I was meant to do 2 nights in DC but now it’s just 1.
So here’s my schedule-
The Steve Poltz Dumbest Tour Ever (and he’s done some dumb ones)
Tuesday Feb 24-
The Carleton Halifax.
Zoinks! That’s tonight.
Just me. Solo. No Mechanics. I can’t fix a fucking thing.
Then I start my long extended 2 gig run with Mike and The Mechanics.
Friday Feb 27
Saturday Feb 28
The Sands Bethlehem Event Center
(1 hour from Philly!)
Then I fly to San Diego on Sunday.
Then Tuesday March 3, I fly to Melbourne Australia and actually arrive on Thursday morning March 5.
So now my Mechanics tour is only 2 dates.
My new book is going to have a really long title and be called-
How To Tour Like A Dumb Fuck
*Stupid Decisions I’ve Made*
– how Steve Poltz conquered the world by thinking the map on his bedroom wall was actual size. The unexpected virtue of ignorance.
It’s gonna be great. A real page turner. They’ll make a film about it and Bradley Cooper will lose a bunch of weight and learn guitar and play me and win an Academy Award.
Oh- I downloaded Inherent Vice on my iPad and watched it twice on my flight. It’s the new stoner Lebowski type film that I can watch over and over. Really funny. Especially the scene when all the FBI agents are picking their noses. I was laughing so hard on the plane. I was THAT guy.
I wanted Boyhood to win best picture.
Thanks for showing up and being so full of love at The Belly Up. What a night! I love you guys. I mean it man. Best night ever. I saw so many friends. Fred Van Vactor was there!
All of the musicians played their hearts out.
See you in Halifax tonight! xoxo