I’m super excited to announce that I’ll be playing MerleFest 2019. Apr 25-28 in Wilkesboro North Carolina. This is going to be amazing! #merlefest
In case you guys were wondering if I was ever gonna play Cincinnati Ohio again – well, now you don’t have to wonder. It’s been inked in contract. It’s happening. Dec 13. It’s even a Thursday. A grand day to go out and imbibe. The venue I’ll be trashing is Live At The Ludlow Garage.
I enjoy this venue. It’s got good stuff. Like seats and sound. And drinks. And weirdos. And an all nude staff. Free range chickens roam the aisles and they dance with giggling monkeys.
It’s a place where people hug each other and eat organic green beans.
You can’t get arrested in this place because it’s lawless.
You’re gonna love it. Tickets here
All these wondrous fruits are bathing together in the morning sunlight. They’re just waiting to be eaten.
The banana says “I’m perfectly ripe. Please slice me and put me on some beautiful toasted baguette with fresh almond butter and a small dab of local honey.”
But the avocado replies “excuse me madam, but I feel I’m better suited for today’s brekkie. Smash me on toast with a few black and red pepper flakes and a slight drizzle of olive oil.”
Then the pretty heirloom tomatoes say “we agree with the avocado dude. But you need to slice us up and put us on top with our cherry tomato brethren.”
Then I say “I think I’ll eat all of you. I’ll do the bananas and almond butter for dessert. I always go with savory and before sweet.”
Have a peaceful Sunday. Xx
This is where I’ve decided to build a meditation mausoleum with emphasis on matador mixologist’s master classes. I’m sure it’ll be successful. This building is lonely and welcoming and foreboding all at the same time.
Too bad this jacket is 1798 dollars. I saw it and was immediately gonna buy it and then I went “whoa! Is this a typo? This thing is cool. It reminds me of Dylan.” Then I realized it was modeled after a Dylan record. Maybe Freewheelin? I’m too wacked outta my head on oxy and ice to look it up.
Then I said to myself “you could always charge it.” Then I said to myself “for 1798 bucks you could buy a car. A shitty car but hey. A car.” Then I thought “well at least it won’t break down on the freeway. And it’ll keep me warm.”
So then I went as far as clicking size medium and it ended up in my cart. Then I demurred. I walked away. I laughed at myself for even thinking of buying it. Then I said to myself “it’s more expensive than the new iPhone.” But this jacket can’t send texts.
Now I’m back at sanity level and I’m here to report that I did not. I repeat, i DID NOT buy this jacket.
It was an idea I was lured into almost fulfilling. I was like a trout in a river in Montana and some fly fisher threw this jacket in the water. I almost bit. Had I bit I would’ve ended up in a frying pan being eaten by a hungry fisher person. Sautéed in butter and garlic.
It’s Wednesday Nov 7. If it’s Wednesday it must mean Cleveland. Hotel view number 8 billion and 62. OHIO. See y’all tonight in Cleveland! Ballin on a Wednesday. The Winchester Music Tavern. Lakewood Ohio. This is gonna be the mother of all shows. Walk, run, hitchhike, ride a bike, take a taxi, rent a private jet. Just show up. It’s your civic duty to come to this show. An edict laid down from the days of yore in the book of weirdos chapter 7 verse 23.