What happens when we die? Dot com. I’ll tell ya- (I just found out what happens) it’s pretty cool.
1. You see a white light. A flash. A tunnel.
2. Someone hands you a homemade pop-tart. Toasted to perfection.
3. You walk through the tunnel past the 7/11 (they’re everywhere man. They’re everywhere)
4. At the end of the tunnel there’s a woman ironing her hair. She smells like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and she hands you a robe.
5. Abe Lincoln watches you undress and put on the robe and he whisks you away in a jet propelled golf cart. You notice your robe is edible and tastes like … your favorite food ever.
6. Frida Kahlo paints your portrait and gives you a mustache even if you don’t have or want one.
7. Gandhi plays a beautiful melody on a lute and you start crying.
8. A gang of men and women wearing lederhosen throw grapes at your face but nothing touches you.
9. You fall asleep on a mattress that makes you feel weightless.
10. You wake up and everything makes sense. You have no needs. Maslow Schmazlo.
11. A woman walks into a room with a clipboard and shows you your greatest hits and misses. (Don’t worry – You’re able to laugh)
12. You’re turned into an angel.
13. You try to help people but they can’t hear you so you leave them clues. Sometimes they see the clues and sometimes they’re not looking or listening.
14. There’s a great selection of books and the latest films and a 24 hour chef.
15. You have no bills.
It’s pretty chill. Don’t worry. It’s all gonna work out. Elvis is there.
16. Eventually you are reincarnated and depending on the life you lived you get a great new life or a not so great life. Everyone is always making some sort of progress. Forward or backward.
Time isn’t real. Everything is anything. Nothing is really real. We make our rules. We have the power. We just forget. We forget that it’s all a game.
I hope this helps and clears a few things up. Some aliens in a
UFO picked me up last night and gave me this info. Do what you want with it.