Goodbye mom. I love you

How do you say goodbye to your mom? That’s what I’m wondering. After sitting in high alert mode holding her hand and singing to her she passed away at 9:38 pm on Thursday December 13, 2018. I was with her. She took her last breath and was finally at peace. She was 88 years old.

The sound of the oxygen tank was mechanical, meditative and mesmerizing. Her beloved dog Sunny looked so worried. It’s amazing what dogs know. She kept guard at the foot of the bed and kept crawling under the covers and then crawling out and slowly kissed my mom.

I knew this would be painful but I didn’t expect such a punch in the gut. I feel so bad for my Dad. They were married for 61 years.

I don’t know how he continues without her. He loved her so very much. I will never forget the sound of his grief and tears.

The last 48 hours have been a crazy ride. Crushed up morphine and Ativan helped ease her pain and anxiety and she went peacefully. Thank God for the instructions the hospice care nurses gave us. Sharon and I ground up the morphine and mixed it with a small amount of water and spooned it into my mom’s mouth every 2 hours. She was knocked out and opened her eyes every once in a while and it startled me.

I played and sang Amazing Grace, Make You Feel My Love, Pancho and Lefty and heaps of my own songs. My fingertips are feeling it. My mom loved my album One Left Shoe so I think I played every song on that record at least 3 times.

She also loved Michelle Obama so I read her Michelle’s book and I swear I felt my mother could hear me. She’d slightly smile as I read certain passages.

I’m really gonna miss calling my mom on the telephone. She was always so happy to hear my voice. She’d say “Stevie! How’s my beautiful boy doing? I love you so much.” She kept so many newspaper articles about me and was so proud. I already feel a void. Who am I gonna call when I’m really proud of something that only she would appreciate?

This all happened so fast. I was just dancing with her a couple weeks ago. I thought she’d be around another few years. Everyone loved my ma. She’d look you in the eye and ask you all kinds of questions.

The next thing you know it’s all over. The Trident Society pulls up in a white van and covers her and zips her up and wheels her away on a stretcher. Her green dress, her grey bra and her yellow socks. That’s what she left in. Her vessel. A green dress, a grey bra and yellow socks. That’s it. The undertaker had us write down what she was wearing. Those were her possessions.

The undertaker looked like an undertaker. He was dressed in black and had dark circles under his eyes. He was very calm. I wonder if undertakers start to look like that because of all the death they’re surrounded by?

Winifred Catherine Poltz was loved by so many. I feel so bad for my sister Kathy. She loved her so much. Kathy feels things and is an empath to the nth degree. I love her. My mom loved her.

Winnie was so beautiful and so smart. She had beautiful expressive eyes. She loved to read. She could blow through a book in one day. She could talk politics with the best of em and made the best spaghetti sauce in the whole wide world. She taught me how to write and encouraged my music. She’s my mom and now she’s gone.

How do you say goodbye to your mom?

I love you ma. God bless you.

Shows cancelled

Due to unforeseen circumstances I have to cancel my upcoming shows in Cincinatti OH, Nelsonville OH, Madison IN and Indianapolis IN.

I’ll try to make these shows up in the future. Prayers for my Mom are welcome. 🙏 I need to be with her at this time.

Cincinnati Ohio Dec 13

In case you guys were wondering if I was ever gonna play Cincinnati Ohio again – well, now you don’t have to wonder. It’s been inked in contract. It’s happening. Dec 13. It’s even a Thursday. A grand day to go out and imbibe. The venue I’ll be trashing is Live At The Ludlow Garage.

I enjoy this venue. It’s got good stuff. Like seats and sound. And drinks. And weirdos. And an all nude staff. Free range chickens roam the aisles and they dance with giggling monkeys.

It’s a place where people hug each other and eat organic green beans.

You can’t get arrested in this place because it’s lawless.

You’re gonna love it. Tickets here

Happy Sunday!

All these wondrous fruits are bathing together in the morning sunlight. They’re just waiting to be eaten.

The banana says “I’m perfectly ripe. Please slice me and put me on some beautiful toasted baguette with fresh almond butter and a small dab of local honey.”

But the avocado replies “excuse me madam, but I feel I’m better suited for today’s brekkie. Smash me on toast with a few black and red pepper flakes and a slight drizzle of olive oil.”

Then the pretty heirloom tomatoes say “we agree with the avocado dude. But you need to slice us up and put us on top with our cherry tomato brethren.”

Then I say “I think I’ll eat all of you. I’ll do the bananas and almond butter for dessert. I always go with savory and before sweet.”

Have a peaceful Sunday. Xx

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Madison House
Adam Bauer
(303) 544-9900 Ext: 1042

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(720) 616-7246 (office)
(707) 616-3903 (cell)

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Photo: Steve Anderson Photograpy

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