World's Dumbest Cops
One time I was peeing in a parking lot and a cop pulled up and said "hey, are you urinating?" I said, "no officer, I'm peeing." Then he said "oh, that's ok but remember- urinating in public is illegal." Then I said "where can I score some weed (then I left space in my sentence for a very long awkward pause) killer?" Then the cop said "There's a Walmart over there but be careful with that stuff because it's got a lot of chemicals in it. If weeds don't die then Monsanto makes no money." Then I said "Thanks Officer. I'll be on my way now. Please ignore the 1000 pounds of heroin in my trunk. Oops did I say that out loud?" Then he said "If you're carrying a load of 1000 pounds then you should get your shocks checked. Hey, that Prius is illegally parked I need to write a parking ticket. See ya later."
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