North Korea has named me Musician of The Year
Pyongyang has named me The Extra Super Duper Supreme Dear Musician Of The Year 2012. Even though the year is only 10 days old I have been granted this amazing honor. There will be a video documentary of me riding a white horse accompanied by tanks accepting this amazing honor. A top government official said, "Comrade Poltz's music has been inspiring in our policy of Songun and we are thrilled to have his music pumped into every home and apartment in North Korea." The Pyongyang Times reported that "People were fainting in the streets when they heard about the amazing award bestowed upon The Extra Special Genius Singun Songun Supreme Fiesta Super Duper Highest Ranking Ever Chosen One Poltz. His album sales have skyrocketed and there was rioting outside of record stores in several capitalist pig countries outside of North Korea that refused to provide a sufficient number of the revered artist's CDs in their stores." According The Pyongyang Weekly Poltz is working on a new "Sexy Zen" styled Cd titled "Pyongying Yang Poontang." Preorders are already over 1 million copies. "I am so extremely happy for the outpouring of support" said Poltz. there's also a holiday themed record in the works as well. "Pyongyang Holiday is a newer Christmas themed record I'll be working on with Elton John and Lady Gaga. Shhhh-- lets keep this one under wraps for now. Get it? Under wraps? Wrapping paper!" said Poltz. According to sources from the studio "Poltz will actually be rapping in Korean. It's totally awesome."
So as you can see, I'm thrilled to bring you this news today. My life rocks. Yours will too if you follow my rules. You may only listen to my music all the time. I rule. Literally. Steve Songun Poltz