Jesus Gets A MacBook Air
The package arrived early one afternoon. It was addressed to Jesus and sent two day air to Heaven. The savior scurried out to his front porch and eagerly signed for the goods. The delivery woman was dressed in her usual garb; white uniform with an oxygen tank and goggles and a Heaven logo with a security chip implanted over her left breast. She looked good in that white jumpsuit and Jesus watched her walk away and then blushed because he knew his Dad was watching. His Father was always watching and it made him somewhat twitchy.
He returned inside and lifted the needle off of the Beatles record that was blaring throughout his unit. He loved to play Hey Jude at ear shattering levels. He owned the duplex and rented the other half to his snarky neighbor Judas. Judas hated The Beatles and especially that particular song. He preferred anything by Miley Cyrus and would bang on the walls for silence.
Jesus started up his new MacBook Air and reveled in the beautiful sound the silver notebook made. It was the perfect note and music to his ears. He checked his wifi connection and realized his internet was down. He called his service provider and was connected to man sitting at a desk somewhere in India. After a long discussion about Krishna he restarted his wireless router and voila, he was online. He set his homepage to Google and decided he wanted to look something up but he couldn't decide. Finally after staring blankly at his screen for what seemed like eternity he got up the courage to Google himself. He sat in stunned silence. He was gobsmacked. "Holy heck, I'm bigger than The Beatles."