Is that a turd or a pickle?

webbyfinal.jpgThe sky was raining turds and Wal Mart had no umbrellas to protect against this sort of thing. Turds were dropping like pickles from the heavens above, shattering windshields and making a lot of unecessary paperwork for insurance companies everywhere. Corporate was beginning to get really angry because their annual budget for the company getaway to a nude resort in Aruba was being severely slashed. People wanted some sort of assurance that the turds would stop falling from the sky. That's where I come in- ya see; I used to play a little sand lot ball when I was a kid and I've been told by several truck stop waitresses that I have pretty nice hands. So I guess I'm going to go to the cities listed above as some sort of a modern day court jester/troubadour. I will juggle turds and sing sea chanteys to the those in need of crisis counseling. If you don't see your city listed above then please tell me where the turds are dropping from your vantage point and I will try to be there to save the day. Just a simple suggestion or prodding will do. For instance: "Steve, will you please come to Canada? Toronto to be specific. Why do you neglect the country of your birth?" Then I will point my lovely managers, lawyers and booking agent in your direction to get the ball of turd rolling along. Life is too long to not do what you want, Love, Me (Steve) (Joe) (Josh) (Poltz) P.S. The Padres are back in first for a day