I'm selling crazy
Am I a writer or a wronger or a wrangler? All I know is that tonight I played a show in Kinross Scotlandia and I never draw people in this town. I'll never be the Springsteen of Kinross. I won't be the next Seattle of Kinross. Yet-- this show tonight bloody rocked. My guitar took an ass whooping on stage. There were only 10 people. TEN. Count em. Well, 12 total if you count the people working. Maybe 13. But in my mafuggin mind I was playing the Enormodome and Skynard was my opening act. Skynard Rush, Triumph and Steelers Wheel and Supertramp all opened for me tonight and I peed all over them. I drenched them in pee. Then I lit fireworks out of my mouth and blew my lips off but I still kept singing even though the ten people in the audience were covered in blood. If you weren't there then you missed the spectacle of the new Millennium. Here are some of the quotes already pouring in from around the world.
New Japan Times- "Steve Poltz set a new standard for rocknroll tonight and probably saved the world."
Bulgarian Picayune- "Steve Poltz is the new Pope. We don't recognize anything The Catholic Church says anymore. His show in Kinross made it a crime in Bulgaria to not own his records. This is punishable by death."
The Syrian Tribune- "Steve Poltz's show made us all stop killing each other for 2 whole hours. Now that it's over we can get back to the business of murder. If he plays again there could be another respite. The crowds outside of The Canadian and US Embassies were chanting 'WE WANT POLTZ. WE WANT POLTZ'".
The Mars Herald- "Thank God we get wifi up here. The Martians were all high on Steve's music. Literally high. Above the Earth. Please don't come here. You guys litter too much. Only Steve Poltz is allowed."
Too bad I need to sleep. Otherwise I'd keep reading you these reviews. But I'm fucking tired. I like art it is fun. Goodnight and good luck. SjjP