Hello I am...

20140227-111934.jpgHello, I am Frietag from the planet Tralfamadore. I speak whatever language you like except the rare C-32-dPo that seems to have gone the way of Myspace and Blockbuster Video. I'm here to listen to your needs and serve you. I am ready to help. I have several recipes at my disposal for hair braiding and carburetor rebuilding. I am able to distort images with the wave of a finger. My eyes are like pop tarts; they're sweet and shiny and safe for most toaster ovens. Kurt Vonnegut left me his mustache before he passed away and I kept it in a box buried in my sunflower garden. Last time I opened the box the mustache morphed into a caterpillar and crawled up my slender arm and I almost felt empathy and love. The mustache is now gone and living in the corner of a post office in NYC. I have your phone numbers in my data base and will be reaching you with good tidings of joy. The harmonic convergence is upon us and things are going to start happening. Keep your ears to the ground and your grapes peeled. I know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Peace be with you - and also with you.

Everything Elsesteve poltz