Greetings friends- I'm in Australia!
I just woke up and I'm not sure what day it is. Thursday here- Wed back in the States. I'm a day ahead of you so I hate to tell you this, but the world will no longer exist the way you know it. So fly here to see me now! I demand it. It's winter here and things are backwards. People drive on the other side of the road and talk with funny accents. Dogs can fly and lizards speak fluent Chinese. You can eat flowers and they make you taller and all smiley. The clouds are made of cotton candy and they fall out of the sky right into your mouth. Everything is free here! They don't believe in money. There's no pollution and they've never heard of the swine flu. (I brought it with me though so they will) Fly here this week and bring me clothes and crackers and water lilies. Bring me gold shoes and silver socks and I'll trade you Chinese speaking lizards. We'll jump rope in the sprinklers and wash our hair with rain water. Australia is the new black. It's where everyone needs to be for the next couple of months. Bring your DNA and bring your wigs. Dress up in disguise and tell your bosses you have eye problems and that you can't see coming into work this month. Tell the San Diego Padres I love them but I'm not IN love with them. Peace, Steve