Free Advice!

Here is some advice I just wrote down for you guys. It'll probably clear things up for you. Think of it as a life lesson. The law of averages states that on the average most laws are not really average laws. That's why I think you should always consult with an above average expert to quantify the extent of the situational laws that seem to take place between shady parties of undesirable origin.

For example: Say that you’re involved in some malfeasance and chicanery and you didn’t intend to get yourself in this position. Perhaps you just “went along for the ride” as it were. Don’t you think that when you opened the door to the 70s station wagon that you were well aware there was a bong under the passenger seat?

Or maybe you just went along with your friends to pick lemons? The lemons belong to Mr Maguire and even though he’s an alcoholic who never eats lemons and probably has scurvy, those lemons are still not yours to take.

But what if the tree is sagging like a 90 year old man’s ass? What if that lemon tree is overflowing?

Now we’re getting somewhere! Average is not always average. Laws are not always laws. But, average laws are boring because they’re average.

When I first got my law degree at Harvard my friends were jealous. They felt I was hanging with The Kennedys and playing tackle football on Cape Cod. How wrong could they actually be? So many of The Kennedys have already passed on. What do you people think? Do you think I’m going to exhume them and prop them up like Weekend At Bernie’s and play tackle football with them being rolled around on a skateboard? This is exactly why I want to have most of the people I know arrested or at least put under surveillance for even thinking this. I don’t play tackle football because I don’t want to separate my shoulder.

See what I mean? It all makes sense now. Pay attention to the law of averages. Why is everything always so simple if you just write it out? If you saw The movie The Poseidon Adventure then you’ll probably understand what I’m talking about.

I hope this clarifies things for you guys. I don’t have time to consult with all of you on an individual basis but I am available for questions. Please use a psychic medium that you feel comfortable talking with. I will know when you ask me a question because I’ll get a funny feeling in my bathing suit area.

Don’t be average but please pay attention to laws.

Everything Elsesteve poltz