Experiments under grow lamps
Four eyes are better than two only half of the time. I just finished a study at Harvard University where I did comparisons with people I've been surgically working on in my spare time, in between writing songs and editing automobile manuals.
I steal eyes from dead people and restore them under a grow lamp. I don't let the people out of my lab but I do bring them Starbucks Frappucinos®. It's not like they're unhappy in my laboratory it's just that they're not really that happy. Hey, it's all good!