Diary of a Man Going Slowly Insane

inmyface2.jpgWino Krainz photography I think I had about 31 shows in 21 days. It all started in Dallas, good Doctor. By the time I got to Oklahoma for the storytelling festival I was doing 3 to 4 shows a day. Is it any wonder that last night in Dayton, Ohio I lost my mind? Left it somewhere but can't for the life of me remember where. Maybe it's under the seat in the van by the bag with all the cough medicine and cold remedies. Maybe I left it in a truck stop off of the I-80 or something. Maybe the lady with the Australian accent inside the GPS device device took it. Yeah, that's the ticket! It's a conspiracy between her and other evil doers. They took my mind and are playing hide and seek with it and tucked it in a box of See's candies by a chocolate nugget crunch thing. Thank you to Mick and everyone at Canal Street Tavern. I've played that room since the early Rugburns days and for some reason he still keeps booking me. Probably because we're both getting older and he feels sorry for me. It's his idea of "community outreach." Here is a little piece written by a guy named Frank Goodman who came to a show of mine in Nashville recently. I think he interviewed me when I was at an airport somewhere in Australia. I remember a cell phone and security and airport announcements in Australian accents. Click Here to see article and interview!!! Every once in awhile I get and email that makes me call the police. Last night in Dayton I before the show I received a Fred Van Vactorish type email. At first I thought it might be Fred playing a trick on me but no. This girl really exists and turned out to the show and sat in the front row wearing a shirt that said "Mrs, Poltz!" Here is the email: Subject: I fucking love you! name: colleen message: I am sooo excited about Dayton tonight! I made a special shirt to wear "Mrs Poltz" I hope you dont mind being forced into marriage with me. Im a good cook,so hopfully that makes up for the lack of... well, knowing me at all. My friend Jason (lives in CA) asked me to get a signed CD for him (from you) as well as any copies of police charges that may be filed by you for me forcing myself upon you :) If you lay still it will all be over soon. Love you (fucking love you!) See you tonight! Colleen Submit: Send my Email! I can't make this shit up! There she was in the front row and I even read her letter on stage. The cops never showed up so I just played the show and got weirder than I've ever been and ended up scaring her away. She thought she wanted to be Mrs. Poltz until she realized my mind had melted like a clock in a Salvador Dali painting. Now she probably likes someone else who's more stable like Tom Cruise or something. Is he more stable than me, I (the guy typing this)? We need to go on Barbara Walters together and see who out koo koos who? Hey guess what? We don't have a show tonight. For the first time in a long time. No show to play. Just a 10 hour drive from Dayton to New York City. We play tomorrow night in Piermont, New York. Must go crawl in van now and check around for my mind. I know it's in there somewhere. Peace be with you---- and also with you Steven Joseph Joshua Poltz