Cool New Banner and I Play Charlotte NC Tonight!
This cool new Poltzville banner was sent in by the extremely talented Molly Gumner Molagu Design. I love it man. I love it! Keep emailing them in because it makes the time pass much more sweetly while traversing various roads and highways. Click here for more info. Thanks. So Tonight I play at The Evening Muse in Charlotte, North Carolina. It's going to be the highlight of the whole tour so if you miss this show I wouldn't bother coming out to any of the other ones. The rest are all going to be downhill from here on out except for Dana's House Concert in Suffolk Va. I'll probably burn down her kitchen. But let's talk more about tonight shall we? I'm going to play my little heart out and atone for my past sins so it should be a pretty long show. I'm going to take a baseball bat the front of the club and knock out the windows before I play so they don't shatter from the shrill tone of my voice. Then I'm going to throw paper bags full of money out to the adoring masses and give away all my guitars. After tonight I'll only be doing spoken word. I'm sick of music anyways. I'm planning on walking the rest of the way on this tour. I'm going to walk barefoot and sleep under the stars in the parking lots of Waffle Houses. Don't even try to stop me. It's already in motion and there's no turning back. After this tour ends I'm going to evaporate and become a cloud because they seem to have good lives. My cloud matter will be a mix of cotton candy and coconut water. I'll be able to watch everyone from the skies just like Santa. I'll find out who's been naughty and nice and I'll reward you with a downpour of winning lottery tickets and gift certificates to The Olive Garden. I'll help The Padres finally win that elusive World Series that they've always coveted. Just look up and you'll see my smiling cloud face. Dogs will follow me around like I'm the pied piper of canines. Monkeys will swing from trees and throw bananas to my minions. Money will no longer be necessary and apple pie will become an official food group. Peace will prevail and a new day will dawn. So git yer asses out to the show tonight in Charlotte. Good things are happening in Charlotte. They have a web and a girl. Charlotte rhymes starlet! Hurry up. What the heck are you waiting for gosh dang it? Shucks guys you're lagging. You guys are all starlets in my book. I see you. I'm right behind you.