The best part about the house show I played last night in Antigonish Nova Scotia was the dinner that the good doctor made for me. We were sitting at their beautiful table eating the most amazing meal (I got a great risotto cooking lesson) and since he's a doctor I started asking him questions. I ask questions because I'm a curious monkey. Pretty soon I realized that no subject was off limits. Jackpot! Especially for me. Now keep in mind that his lovely wife was also at the table as were his two beautiful kids. A boy and a girl aged 18 and 17. A senior and junior in high school. So in between bites I started asking him about prostate exams. I'm talking full detail. Like when he sticks his finger up the man's bum does he lube it first. Yes he does. Then how does he move the finger around? He showed me as we all shoveled more food in our hungry bellies. I asked him what he checks for and he said he's looking for plums. Like growths that might feel like plums. I asked if the asses stunk or if most people were polite and made sure they were clean. Most are polite and clean their arses. His kids started looking at me like I was a freak. But by now all bets were off. I asked if people ever broke wind in his face. Yes they have. Yaya!!! He said it's always weird if you know the person and that one time a guy he knew secretly put flowers up his ass so that when he got on all fours and his undies came off the doctor was staring at daisies. By now I asked for second helpings of the wonderful food.
Good times! Never invite me over for dinner.
Tonight I play St John's Newfoundland at The Ship!