Freaky cholesterol 

  
Good morning space truckers. Susan J Weiand snapped this photo at a show I played at Don Quixote’s International Music Hall a couple weeks ago.

I was space traveling through the truck stop of people and hoarders and merchants and I plucked a strange chord on that git box and sang my little heart out.

She clicked her finger down on the shutter device and captured this moment in time. A moment of happiness and joy and wanderlust.

Today’s world is a feisty frosty mug of strange root beer waiting to be gulped.

I went to the cardiologist yesterday as a follow up to that crazy stroke I had. He did my blood panels the day before my visit and he said “what the hell do you eat? You’re not taking any statins and your cholesterol is perfect. You’re an outlier for your age. Here are your numbers -
Cholesterol 133
HDL Cholesterol 67
non HDL cholesterol 66
LDL cholesterol 56″

I said “doctor, every morning I eat bob’s red mill 5 grain oats with flax seed and I add almond butter and amaranth and blueberries and cinnamon.”

He said “I’m gonna cut you loose. Keep taking 1 baby aspirin a day. I don’t know why you had a stroke. Maybe you have an irregular heartbeat but I’ve had you wear that heart monitor and it looks fine. Remember to get enough rest out there on the road.”

“Ok doc. I’ll try. Thanks for your help.”

“Ok. Steve. You have freaky good cholesterol. You’re a weirdo. Stay healthy.”

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Comatopia 

  
This weekend I head north to Calpine Ca. I’m playing the coolest festival in the the whole facking world. The Brothers Comatose are putting on Comatopia. Fly to Sacramento or fly to Reno. Drive to Calpine to The Sierra Valley Lodge. I play Friday night at 9:15pm. And then on Saturday I play at 5pm on the sun deck.
Here’s the schedule

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The things can’t remember to remember 

  
Sometimes I take a picture of my van so I remember where I parked.

Sometimes I take a picture of my shoes so I know where I left em.

Sometimes I put a frozen popsicle in my sock drawer and my socks in the freezer.

One time I showed up at a gig and opened up my guitar case and it was empty. I forgot to put the guitar inside. I remember thinking that I felt stronger carrying my case and I was wondering if it was because of the new push up regimen I was on.

Sometimes I’ll be on a call and someone else will call and I’ll answer and I’ll tell the new caller that I’ll call them back and then after my original call ends I forget to call that new person back. And then finally when I remember that someone called I can’t remember who it was that I was supposed to call back.

I leave money in the pockets of jeans and shirts and jackets on a regular basis.

The one one thing I’m pretty good at remembering is the lyrics to songs. Not always, but most of the time in pretty good. Put it this way- I don’t need a TelePrompTer.

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Sector 7

It’s nice to wake up and find that the guy that sweeps up the confetti in my head actually puts it all back together. It’s like a crazy jigsaw puzzle that he works on all night long in the basement of meth lab under a flickering fluorescent light. Then I wake up all rested and ready to face the day with a brave new mask on that the knitting lady in the third quadrant of my unused portion of my left brain knitted for me. 
And of course the best part is when a thousand ants look down from quadrant four in sector seven and sing in unison in loud ant voices—>
all us workers work like ants
to help mr steven do the morning dance
so when he wakes and his eyelids flutter
he won’t go back to his childhood stutter
so open the curtains and seize the day 
it’s time to greet the sun and play 
this is my cue to listen to John Lennon and the boys sing Dear Prudence. 
Good morning world. It’s sweet to still be on this side of the grass. 

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Ice Road Truckers and The Bear

Gonna fall asleep now. Thanks for everything. 

I played a show tonight at Thornton Winery and had a cool evening opening up for Melissa Etheridge. 
Good times. It’s nice to have work. 
I forgot to tell you that I went to the movies yesterday and saw The End Of The Tour. It’s a film about David Foster Wallace who wrote the book Infinite Jest. It’s based on an interview he did with a journalist from Rolling Stone named David Lipsky.  
Really slow moving. No explosions. Completely dialogue driven. Sort of uncomfortable at times. In other words my favorite kind of movie. I loved it. 
I want to see it again. Don’t take my advice though. Remember- I loved Boyhood and Lost In Translation.  
I want to try to read Infinite Jest again. My friend Joe Daly loved that book. I had a hard time trying to read it and kept setting it down and doing other things but I think now I’m ready. 
Sometimes late at night my head buzzes like crazy electrical wires on the wings of bees. I hate the scary feeling that nothing really matters. Thoughts free fall into a crazy abyss and turn into confetti and flutter down to hard cold asphalt where they get caught in some dirty gutter water and float off to a drain that leads to nowhere. 
I guess the key is to have a purpose. But what if you forget what your purpose is? Sometimes I fantasize that instead of mile markers there could be purpose signs reminding me of what my next step is. 
That’d be cool if you were wandering through the woods and a bear came up to you and said “I lost my remote. I was watching Ice Road Truckers and I reached back to get some blueberries and the damn remote fell out of my tree fort.”
Then I’d say “Are you really talking to me or is this just a Facebook post gone awry?”
Then the bear says “Dude. Go to sleep. I’ll find my remote. You find your purpose. Can you just write it into this conversation? The sooner you do, I’ll be able to get back to Ice Road Truckers which I just adore and you can go to bed.”
“Ok. I’ll write it into the story. Look under that red kite that those scared tourists just left. See them running away? You’ll find your remote there AND a jar of honey. Now you go back to doing what doesn’t really exist except for within this Facebook post and I’ll try to get some shuteye.”
The bear says “goodnight Poltzy. It’ll all be ok.”
“Goodnight new friend with the remote control. I have decided to keep you alive in my dreams so you’ll now leave this Facebook post and watch tv in my head while I chop parsley.”
Fade to black.

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Just added. Temecula tonight with Melissa Etheridge 

Just when you think you’re taking a few days off the phone rings. 
Yesterday’s conversation on August 7th:
Adam (my agent at Fleming Artists) 

“Hey Steve- would you be able to open up for Melissa Etheridge on Saturday August 8th at Thornton Winery in Temecula Ca?”
“Ok. Isn’t that tomorrow?That’s only about an hour away from where I reside in San Diego. What time is the show?”
“7pm.”
“Ok. I’ll do it. I’ve always wanted to meet Melissa. Perhaps I will tonight.”
Tonight August 8 

7pm

Temecula California 

Thornton Winery 

Melissa Etheridge 

With special guest 

Steve Poltz

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Always be yourself 

  
Today I had lunch with my Mom and Dad in Carlsbad Ca. They’re 85 and they really liked this sign. They want to put it on their front door so I bought it for them. They’re very happy. It says – Always Be Yourself Unless You Can Be Batman/ Then You Should Always Be Batman.

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Great comedy special! 

  
Oh my gosh. I watched the funniest comedy show last night. It was amazing! I think it was a Saturday Night Live special. I thought SNL was off for the summer.

All new cast. Holy crap were they ever funny. I guess Fox News presented it. The best comedic actors ever. I hope they run it again. It was so well done. It was better than the new Will Ferrell comedy.

They made it look like it was a debate in Ohio. Really well done. I’ll try to find it and share it.

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Hey kiddo 

I know this guy in New York named Jimmy and he always calls me kiddo. He’ll say “hey kiddo, how ya doing?” 

I like it. Kiddo. It has a nice ring to it. 
He’s not even old yet he calls me kiddo. He’s probably only got a few years on me. 
I want to start calling people kiddo. 
I’m going to practice. 
Would you be offended if I said “hey kiddo! Long time no see.” 
Or “hey kiddo! You hungry?” 
Do I have to be older than the person I’m speaking with if I use kiddo? 
I probably couldn’t call my mom or dad kiddo. Could I?
I want to be the guy who calls people kiddo. 
See ya later kiddo.

Here’s how I sound saying it. 

http://youtu.be/

r9QyFFRx0dQ

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Im famous in Tahoe – Comatopia!

I’m famous in Tahoe! I spoke with a cool dude named Tim yesterday and now this is out in the digital world. One day I will own Lake Tahoe. I think. It might be too expensive. But I do know I’m fixing to jam at The Brothers Comatose Comatopia Festival Aug 14 15 and 16 in Calpine Ca near Tahoe. 
Read the interview here 

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