Hawaiian Songs That Don’t Sound Hawaiian

Lyrics:

Hawaiian songs that don’t sound Hawaiian
Man, it’s so hot down here that I’m frying
Two eggs on the sidewalk, it’s a hundred in the shade
Sippin’ on a soda, man, you guys got it made

Elvis in Hawaii with G.I. Joe
Tourists in grass skirts dancing by the ocean
Home Shopping Network in a neon glow
Umbrellas in my drink while you’re rubbing in the lotion
Hawaiian songs that don’t sound Hawaiian
And lonely young girls in their rooms left crying
Forgotten birthdays and mislayed plans
“Dear John” letters and neon tans

Faded old postcards from far away places
Ice box winters with ten feet of snow
The smoky old bar rooms and the hollowed faces
I’d rather be where the balmy breezes blow
Hawaiian songs that don’t sound Hawaiian
The only things certain are taxes and dying
Family vacations and mislayed plans
“Dear John” letters and neon tans

We got vodka from Russia and Iowa corn
Nagasaki sushi and cigars from Cuba
Computer romance and internet porn
I dream of beaches with long boards and scuba
Hawaiian songs that don’t sound Hawaiian
Man, it’s so cold up here that I’m crying
Don’t put your tongue on a flagpole it might rip off the skin
I’m drinking bargain priced vodka and eating hot dogs from the tin

Hawaiian songs that don’t sound Hawaiian