Happy Bitter Valentine’s Day

Listen here: Happy Bitter Valentines Day!

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Happy Valentine’s, shmalentine’s, Valentine’s Day, America.
Oooh, they get to go out to dinner with people that you don’t really have much to say to and you struggle over words with a bunch of yuppies at the restaurant too and it’s all crowded and everything ’cause I have to go out ’cause I was told to. Like Pavlov’s dogs we just march in, like, a little pilgramage on our Mecca to a stupid restaurant buying bad Hallmark cards. Oooh, and we’ll get in trouble. I didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day. What are you gonna do? Oh, my God, I’m gonna be in trouble. Well, I’m not participating in your little reindeer games, America. Ho, Ho, I’m not bitter. Not at all. Not me.