Headed to Chicago tonight 

Next stop Chicago. Thanks San Francisco! Last night was wonderful. Great crowd.

Tonight I play S.P.A.C.E. In Evanston Illinois with my pals The Brothers Comatose.

One day I’ll sleep!

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Free San Diego show tonight

I’m in Sacramento right now. Connecting to San Diego!
I play a free show in San Diego tonight. I play from 8:30pm to 9:45 in North Park for the festival of wine and arts. It’s free. FREE I said. FREE. All ages.

I play on the stage located at 30th and University. Tonight. Saturday May 21. Gracias amigos. Nos vemos.

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This was the terrible view from my hotel room in San Francisco. Just brutal. #gross #ugly #eyesore #stupidview

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Steve Poltz – word of the day!

I’ve been having fun learning new words and putting them into musical form! #stevepoltzwordoftheday










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Denver tonight! May 13 Friday

Do you guys like Denver?
Do you guys like omelettes?
Do you like cats? And butterflies?

Cool! I’ll be at The Walnut Room tonight!
Jumping for joy!

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Special people radio

Let your feet carry your bag of tiresome worries to another planet where they recycle your fraught emotions into relaxing images meant to calm your frayed nerves. Wiggle your tongue like a crazy person and make up a new language to sing a new song that is yet to exist. I’ll listen to it on the special people radio station.

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Houston! Just added 

Houston! Texas! Yippee!
Put on yer big kid pants.
It’s a Tuesday night.
Late show. 9:30
Let’s do this.
I love The Mucky Duck.
June 7. Rhymes with heaven. And Kevin. And Devon. Also Levin is acceptable.

Houston. Texas. I am coming your way.

This is just added. Like right now.
You heard it here first. tickets here

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Rusty baby laxative 

You wanna talk about performance enhancing rust? I met a guy from India who peddled rust in tiny little paper envelopes not unlike the kind heroin dealers preferred. He sold it in a powder form mixed with baby laxative and meth and each little envelope had a personalized stamp ensuring the highest quality with each discreet purchase. He was a gracious chap who would greet his customers with an obligatory hello followed by a photographic slide show on his gangsta flip phone. This picture is the money shot that he used on his more skeptical customers who were still uncertain of their moral turpitude. Once his possible clients saw that the rust came from a farm in Iowa they were usually swayed and ended up purchasing at least an eighth of an ounce. The fella from India would then immediately wire half of the funds back home to a bank account in Mumbai belonging to his grandmother who ran an ashram for a guru named Siddhartha. The whole thing seems sort of shady but then again so do high powered lobbyists. Everyone has to put their pants on in the morning. Unless they shit their pants from rusty baby laxative.

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Body parts for sale 

Nobody really knows what goes on in here. There are rumblings of an apothecary specializing in hog wort powders mixed with bone dust. I fear this is all a ruse and that there are malfeasant surgeries taking place for wealthy people in need of new livers and whatnot. I’ve picked up signals on my police scanner detailing unscrupulous affidavits from crooked judges for search and seizure warrants. Frankly, I’m just a concerned citizen with an interest in the safety of my neighborhood. The nefarious dealings of public officials and laboratories on the take are leaving lasting effects that I’d rather not talk about on such a public forum. I will say this- the only only thing I’m guilty of is sneaking into a drive-in movie to see an X rated film called The Swinging Cheerleaders when I was only 16. — I’m not involved in the interstate trafficking of body parts for illegal surgeries by black market doctors for rich people on waiting lists. — oh yeah- I also smoked a cigarette behind the church when I was a Catholic altar boy.

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It’s all a dream. A lovely little dream unfolding like a pretty spool of colorful ribbon. Let it fall over you and bathe you in soft warm hues until your eyes crack a slight smile.

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