Tonight in Chicago I WON’T phone it in! 

  
Photo by Meg Amrine

Hello Chicago! Even though it’s only Thursday night I’ve still decided to rock tonight.

I usually avoid rocking on weekdays and phone in my shows until Friday and Saturday. On Sundays I sleep on stage.

But hear ye hear ye-
Tonight I hereby decree that I shall be vociferous in my ebullient demonstrative style of entertainment. I’m convinced I have the wherewithal to lube my vocal cords with enough phlegm to to make sounds that are concurrently rough and smooth like sandpaper and silk riding in a red wagon on a bumpy country road.

Boom. Sonic boom! I’m levitating. I’m floating and fully functioning like side two of your favorite record.

I love it when I stick my cord in the hole of my guitar.

Let the sounds begin.

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A simple thank you would suffice 

  
There’s my rental car. Lookin all Impala-ish under the bridge in the flats in Cleveland.

I’m gonna play my guitar tonight on stage tonight and run around and get my blood pumping.

Chicago is where I’m headed.

I am going to float there to ye olde City Winery Chicago.

I can’t thank you enough so instead I won’t thank you.

So therefore —>No thanks for you.
Not because I’m mean but

–Because — my thanks couldn’t fill the gap created by the size of the orifice needed from the avalanche of thanks you deposited in — the thank you landfill. The landfill was baggy because thank youz had been borrowed from the thank you lending landfill.

Sometimes I just say fuck.

F U C K K K K.
Sooooooorry.

Thank you for your concern in this matter.

I am steve poltz and I approve of this message.

Chicago. Tonight.
xoxoxoxo

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Thanks Cleveland! Now we are off to Chicago xox

  
Hey Cleveland! Good morning! You sure are pretty after the snow.

Last night was a great night at Music Box Supper Club.

Great crowd / lots of laughter / people got naked / a speed boat crashed through the window / the club gave everyone a million dollars/

The usual.

Tonight we play City Winery Chicago. By we I mean Grant-Lee Phillips and me.

Thank you for your concern in this matter.

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Bless Me Father 

  
I’m at Music Box Supper Club in Cleveland and they asked me to sign their poster. This is all could think of. I knows there’s more but let’s start here.

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Jesus-Judas- LinkedIn

  
I remember that one time Judas tried to connect with Jesus on LinkedIn and Jesus couldn’t remember his password so they were never able to start a true working relationship because Jesus couldn’t see his messages. Judas got his feelings hurt and felt shunned so he decided to seek revenge and that’s why he betrayed Jesus. We could have avoided so much chicanery and malfeasance had Jesus just checked his messages. This is why you should always write down your password and put it under a magnet on your fridge. This is also why you should never send an email if you’re angry. It’s a ripple effect that can easily escalate into a pie fight. And we all know what happens to clowns in pie fights. They end up with whipped cream on their faces and they end up getting dunked underwater in a dirty plastic tub. Jesus and Judas. #couldhavebeenpals #password #jesus #judas #linkedin #clown #clowns #piefights #fridgemagnet

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Cleeeeev Land! What up?

  
Hey pilgrims! Me and Grant Lee Phillips are playing in Cleveland tonight at Music Box Supper Club in the flats where we happen to be standing right now. Starts at 7:30
Git yer butts down here.

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Backstage in Ann Arbor 

  
Hey dudes I’m backstage at The Ark – Ann Arbor. Michigan baby. Things are good. Ate a little food. Chased a dog in the snow. Hugged my pals at Fleming Artists. Then I sound checked with Grant-Lee Phillips.

Now I’m sitting in a diner waiting for showtime.

Being on the road involves highs and lows and lots of driving and then rushing in to to radio and then waiting around for the show.

Sometimes there’s Merch to be counted. Then I peruse the Internet and see things.

Thanks for listening.

See ya tonight xoxo

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Thanks Pittsburgh

  
Last night! Pittsburgh coolness! Me and @grantleephillips played a show at @pghwinery and lo and behold the mayor of Pittsburgh @billpeduto came out and so did the amazing #donnieiris Yes! Donnie Iris. Ah Leah here we go again! Amazing night. Great venue.

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I owe the mob money

  
Ok ok Rocco! I’ll pay you the money I owe you. I got in over my head and my horse finished dead last. He pulled up lame in the last stretch. Then I also bet huge on Carolina and I lost that too. Hopefully people show up tonight in Pittsburgh so I can pay off these gambling debts. The mob is after me and they’ve given me a 24 hour reprieve. See you tonight in Pittsburgh at Pittsburgh Winery. @pghwinery with @grantleephillips tomorrow on Tuesday I play @the_ark_ann_arbor peace out yo!

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Pittsburgh tonight. 

  
Super Bowl.

It was yesterday.
I watched it.

I didn’t really care who won. I’m a Chargers fan. But they’re gonna leave SD. So I guess I’ll start interviewing teams to see who wants me as a fan.

The game wasn’t that great. But damn, my pizza was really good.

Halftime show? Bruno Mars has some crazy charisma. I want to be able to dance that good. He can move so much better than me. I’m going to practice that shit today.

Commercials?
Those freaking sheep singing Somebody To Love by Queen totally killed me. I have a weakness for talking animals and when they sing a song by Queen it’s even better.

I’m in Pittsburgh. This is a cool city. So many great old houses and the folks here are friendly.

Some people here say “yinz” and I guess it means- you guys. “What are yinz up to?”

Let’s all use yinz today.

Are you with me?
I play tonight in lovely Pittsburgh at The Pittsburgh Winery with special friend Grant-Lee Phillips.

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